SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) - A Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing—even in death. A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina standing upright for his three-day wake.
Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother's living room.
His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: "He wanted to be happy, standing."
The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son's last wish.
Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating
Idiocy, Documented

If you are a loser and an idiot and a dumbass, pass quietly on into the hereafter; sometimes “last wishes” are too stupid to be granted. Here is an example. He wanted to be remembered as tough and cool; instead, he will be remembered the world over as an idiot and a retard and a wanna-be. And, for that final kidney-punch into the afterlife: he has his picture online, of his stupid, dead self being kissed by some guy. Fag!

“Angel Pantoja Medina, an idiot in life, an idiot in death. Rest in peace, retard.”


After a long corporate meeting, and a long ride to the airport, and a long wait at the airport, I got to sit next to a woman with an ass the size of a Volkswagon. Note to fat woman in 19B: if your ass is so huge that the armrest can’t go all the way down between us, you owe me some money or an apology – or both. You paid for your seat and occupied a portion of mine. And those pants were a huge mistake on your huge mistake, Fatty.


For now, that is all.

I have noticed that, during prime-time hours, the Olympic coverage has been mostly swim-suit events: gymnastics, diving, beach volley ball. That’s not a complaint, just an observation.

Prior to this morning, I had never visited Google Streets. I’ve seen many articles blasting the site for pictures of people’s private property, for capturing images of a drunken guy, passed out and sleeping off the previous night’s imbibing; but I never took the time to see what was documented of me on the site.

Now I have, and the day the Google Streets car trolled by my domicile, it was trash day – sometime around Christmas. Wanna know what my family was eating just before Christmas ’07, check Google Streets. Wanna know how I decorated my house for Christmas in ’07, check Google Streets.


I spent the weekend fishing with friends off the coast of Louisiana. If you’ve seen Adam Sandler’s “The Water Boy” and thought the portrayal of backwoods Louisiana was unrealistic, you’ve obviously never been there. I think I met all the assistant coach’s kin while there for 2 days – since everyone in south Louisiana is kin.

Here are a few things I learned this weekend:

1. Mosquitoes lose the capacity to move at about 57 degreed F. One of the guys staying in my “condo” (if anything in South Louisiana can claim such a moniker) likes it cold. I awakened after the first night to find the thermometer on my watch reading 55 degrees F and found thousands of mosquitoes motionless on our living room walls. Our “condo” had poorly installed something and the mosquitoes knew this and flooded into our room in the night – hoping for an easy meal, I presume. When we left, the mosquitoes were still cryogenically frozen on the walls.


2. Reds are fun to catch – but so are sea gulls. When a bird is so stupid as to dive for and almost catch my minnow on its way to the breakers, his reward is well deserved. I didn’t catch the biggest fish or the most fish, but I caught the only bird – so I got that going for me, which is nice.


3. I enjoy casinos much more when I do not gamble.


4. Watching a friend lose a significant amount of money is far less disconcerting than having a friend watch me lose money.


5. If your stomach is sore and black’n blue after 2 days of ripping the lips off over 100 fish, that’s a good 2 days of fishing.

Sources say the actor has tried to hide the pair’s friendship for fear his Left-wing views and playboy image would hurt the Presidential hopeful’s bid for the White House.
But Democratic Party insiders have revealed that Clooney and Obama regularly send texts and emails to each other and speak by phone at least twice a week.
One said last night: ‘They are extremely close. A number of members of the Hollywood community, including Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, offered to help raise funds for Barack but it was with George that he struck up this amazing affinity.
‘George has been giving him advice on things such as presentation, public speaking and body language and he also emails him constantly about policy, especially the Middle East.
‘George is pushing him to be more “balanced” on issues such as US relations with Israel.
'George is pro-Palestinian. And he is also urging Barack to withdraw unconditionally from Iraq if he wins.

I’m no Karl Rove fan, but George Clooney? The guy from ER? Ulysses Everett McGill?

This, my faithful few, affirms why NO ONE with even half a brain would vote for B. Hussein Obama. This demonstrates why I might be divorced in 4 months.

Even stupid people can be right occasionally, but having an idiot like Clooney advise on foreign policy would be like having Jimmy Carter advise on foreign policy – maybe worse. Maybe.

While walking today, I began thinking of old Marine Corps cadences we sang as we ran – and ran – and ran. The best, by far, was the one that ended with,” napalm sticks to kids.” Needless to say, I served at a time when political correctness was still some liberal’s dream – and when the enemy was to be killed, with extreme prejudice, rather than won over to be my friend.



Our old pen-pal Jose Medellin was executed in Huntsville, Texas last night. Several protesters were on hand to, well, protest. Jose was convicted of raping, beating, and strangling 2 teenage girls 15 years ago. Since his conviction, his lawyers and the Mexican government have demanded he not be executed, saying he was not allowed to contact the Mexican consulate.

So that you understand: he raped 2 teenage girls, he beat 2 teenage girls, then murdered 2 teenage girls – all this he did as an illegal immigrant in our country. The World Court and Mexico demanded he not be executed for his crimes (crimes he admitted to and apologized for last night, prior to his dirt nap) and President Bush later recommended the State of Texas abide by the World Court order – only to be overturned by the Supreme Court’s decision that the World Court has no authority in Texas law.

This one thing I know (maybe 2): Medellin admitted to raping, beating, and murdering the girls; and there is only one definitive way to guarantee he never does it again. Only one! And the great state of Texas did that one thing last night.

Henerd thinks our nation has passed the point of no return- and he may be right; when the day comes that Texas cowers to World Court rulings and to the President’s biding, it might actually be all lost. Till then, there are more illegals to execute in this great state, the last foothold of America left in America.



Last night, National Geographic took a break from their Christianity-bashing long enough for a love-fest with Islam. I happened upon “Inside the Koran“, a real nugget of objective reporting. According to National Geographic, Islam is a religion of peace (seriously) till Muslims are marginalized and repressed, then they blow up and kill everything in site. I was curious as to when Muslims have been peaceful in history – that was never discussed. National Geographic’s summary of “Inside the Koran”:

NGC examines the Muslim faiths most sacred text and its message of peace and tolerance – including what some perceive as justification for violent conflict and suicide bombings against U.S. troops and their allies

. I guess, in NGC’s eyes, the people in the World Trade Center buildings on September 11th were the “allies” of US troops and therefore had it coming.

I hate Islam, I hate their camel-humping prophet, I hate their backwards-ass ways that perpetually keep these idiots in the stone age, and I hate the way liberals are constantly trying to convince the world that Islam ain’t bad (just the White Devil is bad.)



And finally, back at the gym, saw Dr. Phil again, must’a been a re-run (as they all seem to be): fat woman crying, angry fat man, Dr. Phil talking, angry fat man crying, The End.

Maybe they should replace all that blathering and crying with this:




How many times can one beat the proverbial drum of well-informed optimism (also known as “pessimism”)?

From time to time, Republicans do profoundly stupid things; however, when they do them, they usually know and eventually admit to doing the wrong thing. Democrats, in contrast, do the wrong thing and proclaim their rightness is so doing. Case in point:

"“But Pelosi, who has opposed offshore drilling throughout her two decades in Congress, insists opening new areas to drilling won't lower gas prices in the short term. She believes a vote would only help the GOP blame Democrats for high gas prices.
"I will not ... give the administration an excuse for its failure," Pelosi said at an end-of-session roundtable interview Thursday.'"

First and foremost, Nancy is exactly right: drilling today will not lower gas prices today; however, she’s been using the same stupid argument for 2 decades. Had we started drilling back when she was first against it, our nation would be far less dependent on foreign oil, and our nation would be better off for not having listened to the hag back then.
As it stands, she still uses the same stupid comment. Using her rational, cancer research today is useless, as is anything that helps our nation in the future without helping it at this very instant. Nice philosophy, Nancy, I bet your kids are some squared-away little Democrats.

Next, Nancy is against drilling today for political reasons – screw the fact that it is good for the nation, “She believes a vote would only help the GOP blame Democrats for high gas prices.” Again, the anti-Americanism of liberals – especially their champions – is sickening. That people still agree with these retarded arguments only strengthens my belief that people are inherently stupid.

And finally, this nugget: "I will not ... give the administration an excuse for its failure,". I hate this administration, I hate the decisions they have made and the reasons for which they were made; but this administration’s policies have only added to what liberals had already done to make fuel prices soar. To blame Bush alone is retarded. Blame for this needs to be spread around – and not to exclude those who, for 2 decades, have demanded we continue to depend on hostile foreign nations by not drilling for our own oil.
Nancy is an idiot, long live Nancy.